This was unfortunately too long for Instagram so I posted it here.

These three pills have saved my life. 

My journey to an epilepsy diagnosis was long and frustrating. Over the course of over five years I saw so many specialist, so many specialist that ran so many tests to either tell me that they had no idea what was wrong with me or giving me a diagnosis that didn’t make sense. 

After each specialist I would end up back at my family doctor, sometimes on the verge of tears. Each time I went back, he believed me though. He believed me when I said a diagnosis didn’t feel right, that a test seemed off or that I still wasn’t confident in the information I was being given. He listened to everything that I said and promised to never give up. 

I was scared. I was terrified. I was frustrated. I was having so many different medical issues and no one could tell me why. No one could give me a reason or an answer. No one could believe me. I was getting pricked and prodded and scanned and it was all for nothing. 100s of tests and no one could give me just one answer that made sense. Each doctor wanting the exact same tests, thinking that maybe it would give them a different answer. In case you were wondering, it never did.

I was told I had a fainting condition. Hypoglycaemia. I was told to just start standing up slower. I was told to eat more. I was told that I had just had too many concussions. I was told there was no answer. I was even told by some doctors that they genuinely believed nothing was wrong with me. I was giving up hope.

I could have sworn that I was spending more time in doctors offices, ambulances and hospitals than I was anywhere else.

Until one day in the Spring of 2016 when I had a referral to see a (my second) neurologist. Considering how the first one treated me, I was scared. He made me uncomfortable. I remembered walking out of his office uncomfortable and looking at my mom telling her none of what he had said made sense. I was scared she’d look at me and say the exact same things that I kept hearing, the same unhelpful things. I was pleasantly surprised to be instantly comforted by a calm voice and ears that were actually listening to me though. She never once made me feel stupid, she never once treated me like I was just some young girl who was being dramatic. She never talked to me like you would talk to a five year old child, something that has been happening at a high rate.

It was one of the first times that throughout this over 5 year journey, I felt like I had a chance.

On my 19th birthday, at 7am, I was given a sleep deprived MRI. While it was exhausting and uncomfortable, it would be the test that changed my life.

In mid May I returned to her office, hopeful but nervous. She pulled up my MRI and took me through the scan showing me each layer of my brain. When she got near the middle of my brain, she paused pointing to a small spot. That was it. That was the answer.

She calmly explained to me that this little spot was the cause of my now explained medical condition. In that office, on that very day, I was told I had Epilepsy. While most people assume it was terrifying, uncomfortable and nerve-wracking, it was anything but. After years without an answer, after years of being so unsure and scared, I had an answer.

At the time of my diagnosis I was having upwards of 25 seizures a day. I was pausing mid sentence and zoning out, coming back and finishing my sentence like it was nothing. I was getting feelings, feeling that I couldn’t explain to everyone, but knowing instantly that if I didn’t sit myself down wherever I was then I would fall. It didn’t matter if it was in the school hallway, in the middle of a sports game or walking in a store. I had to sit. I was having unexplained pain in different limbs, pain that could now be explained from the small convulsions that I was having.

The best part? She had high hopes that medication could help.

I unfortunately had a very serious reaction to the first medication I tried, leading to a trip to the hospital. In the transition to a new medication my body reacted badly leading to me having the longest seizure of my life, lasting over 30 minutes and leading to another ambulance ride to the hospital. Thankful for all the individuals at SLC that were there to support me and assist me through this difficult time in my life.

On August 21st I had another seizure, the last seizure I would have (hopefully for good!). Now, March of 2020, I have just passed my three and a half year seizure free mark. I am driving. I completed my degree. I have a job. I’m living life just like everyone else!

These three pills, that I take every single day, have not only saved my life but given me my life back. All thanks to one doctor that never gave up on me and one that decided to step outside the box.