Today I turn 24. Yup, not exciting at all. Frankly its just another birthday in lockdown where I’m stuck at home and can’t go out and see anyone. So why am I making a post all about it?
Despite that though, I value my birthday. It wasn’t always this way though. There was a point in my life where I was confused why birthdays even existed, it just didn’t make any sense. Shouldn’t we be celebrating my mom who carried me for 9 months and then birthed me?
Something changed though. On my 16th birthday I remember being at a camp, surrounded by my best friends but absolutely depressed. I had cuts on my arms I was hiding under a sweater and sure enough, a few days later, I was hospitalized for a suicide attempt. I truly wanted to die, there was no doubt about it.
This experience changed my life and so did everything that followed. I learned to celebrate myself each year because I had survived, I was surviving and thriving. I deserve to be celebrated because I’m here, because I’m living.
So this is part of how I do it. I write a list of things I learned in that year of life, always adding one extra. So for 20 I wrote 21, for 21 I wrote 22, for 22 I wrote 23 and well, you get where I’m going with this.
So here are the 24 things I learned in my 23rd year of life. Who knows, maybe you’ll here something you need to hear. A bit of a “come to Jesus” moment if you will. I know I’ve had a lot this past year.
1. It’s Okay Not To Be Okay
This goes without saying but it always, without fail, on my life. Consider this a friendly reminder, I know I need it sometimes.
2. Your Mental Health ALWAYS Matters
Considering I started my 23rd year of life starting a new job in a COVID positive facility, starting a masters degree, going through a break up I didn’t see coming and then spending the past 4 months at home… you can see why this is important.
This past year has really emphasized the need for mental health supports. Not even formally, just reaching out to your friends and telling them you can be a physically distanced shoulder to cry on. Telling your family you love them. Telling a co-worker they really need to sit down for a minute before they burn themselves out.
Sometimes though, that extra support is needed. Sometimes medication is a solution and so if formal therapy. Don’t be afraid to take that jump and get whatever help that you need.
No matter how busy you are or the circumstances, your mental health will always matter.
3. Sometimes, People Just Don’t Want To Talk
while this past year has taught us to stay connected, sometimes that isn’t always possible. Sometimes people just need a life break. Sometimes they just need a break from social media and their phone.
Don’t take it personally. Everyone has their limits and they may just need a little time to refill their cup before they can start pouring into yours. Remind them you’re around and then give them room to breathe.
4. You Have To Put Yourself First
While we think we can rely on others, they have their own lives too. You have to put yourself, your dreams and your soul first. It’s not always easy to do but its something we have to admit to ourselves. I have to come first.
5. Value Every Moment You Can
Life is short and this is another one that should go without saying, yet its one a lot of us find ourselves forgetting.
6. Reach Out To Those Old Friends You Haven’t Talk To In Years
If you know me, you know why this one is important. Make those reconnections, they matter more than you might think. Send them a message on Facebook, DM them on instagram, comment on a photo or pick up the phone and give them a call. These little things can form the most beautiful connections before its too late.
7. Take a Leap of Faith
Whether that leap of faith is into god or something entirely different, I hope you take that leap.
Remember, even if it only works out 1/10 times, it still worked.
8. Don’t Be Afraid To Get a Little Sassy
Remember this is your life, everyone around you is just living in it. You choose who comes and who stays. You’re holding the pen. If you want to get a little sassy? Go for it! No one can stop you.
Just make sure you’re not doing harm to anyone around you.
9. Enjoy the Simple Pleasures
I don’t care if people think your simple pleasures are weird, ENJOY THEM. Dance in the rain! Eat pickles dipped in mustard! Eat that giant donut! Enjoy the simple little pleasures that bring you pleasure.
10. Buy Those Pens
So fun fact about me, I LOVE the PaperMate 1.0M blue pen. They’re super cheap but I’m OBSESSED with them. To give you an idea my old boss (HEY CHAD!) got me some for Christmas. Thats how well known it is that I love these pens.
With that said, I get a lot of judgement. People thinking I’m crazy for liking these super cheap pens and they think it makes no sense.
This year I embraced my pens. I don’t care what other people think. These pens make me feel better, they help me enjoy writing and I absolutely love the way they flow on paper. Don’t like it? Don’t use them. They’re my favourite pens.
It may not be pens for you, it may be something totally different. Just don’t let the judgement of others stop you for buying the little thing that brings you joy and happiness.
11. Elephants Are Adorable
Seriously though. I learned a TON of fun elephant facts this year, not even on purpose and now I’m obsessed. They’re adorable.
Did you know baby elephants suck on their trunks like human babies suck on their thumb? HOW STINKIN CUTE
12. Not Everyone Is Meant To Stay
some people come to stay while others are just lessons meant to come and go. Respect both types of people. If they want to leave, let them. Those that are meant to stay will stay.
Also, if they leave, be very selective on who you let back in. You don’t have to learn the same lesson twice if you get what I’m saying.
13. Smile at Those Around You
A smile, even to a total stranger, can go a long way! So smile to those passing by, to those in the car beside you or even the co-worker across the hall.
Just smile, its good for you! 🙂 <– my smile to you!
14. Cry.
If you know me, you know its no understatement that I cry a lot. I cry at happy movies, at sad movies, I cry when I’m laughing, I cry when I’m frustrated and sometimes I cry for no reason at all. Tears are a part of a normal routine for me.
With that said, I’ve always tried to hide it. It’s not that I’m embarrassed, I just always felt weird. Why? Other people made me feel weird.
This year and moving forward I’m putting myself first which means, yes, crying whenever I need or want. I’m not going to apologize because my emotions, my ability to cry, makes you uncomfortable.
15. Spoil Yourself Sometimes
Self-care can mean a lot of things and while we say its not just face masks, it also can be! Do whatever you need to do to be okay (as long as its not causing anyone harm)!
16. Listen To Your Body
There are 1000s of things going on in your body at once. Your heart is beating, your blood is moving, your immune system is fighting something off… this is all because of the communication occurring.
When your body is trying to communicate with you, listen to what it has to say. Respect your body. Respect the systems working hard to fight for you.
17. Dance in the Rain
Last summer is began to POUR during family visits. I had to rush a resident inside. While rushing, she just stopped and looked up. Confused I was trying to hurry her along. She asked for a moment and began dancing, swaying her hips back and forth. She looked absolutely overjoyed. A few minutes later, both of us drenched, she walked with me back inside.
She confessed on the elevator she hadn’t felt rain in multiple years. That it was freeing. That she has never been happier.
So my dear, for her and everyone else who hasn’t felt the rain, dance in it!
18. Mindfulness Matters
Be in the moment. If this year taught me anything important its the value of being exactly where you are, not thinking about the past or the future. Get off your phone. Don’t take a picture. Just be there, right there, in that very moment.
19. Moving Makes You Feel Better
Even when its hard, getting up and moving goes a long way. Its a lesson I’ve learned in my mental health journey. Even if its just for a minute, to walk to the bathroom or the kitchen. Take those few steps. It can go a lot further than you would have ever even possibly imagined.
20. There is a LOT of False Information Out There
COVID-19 has really emphasized the incorrect information that gets put out by “credible sources”. Pay attention to what you’re reading and where the information is coming from. Listen but listen carefully. Fact check.
This goes well beyond COVID-19 though. Remember that.
21. Tell Them You Love Them
Even if they don’t say it back, say it. Tell your friends. Your family. Your crush. Tell them how you feel, even if it isn’t love. Be open and honest. Vulnerability and courage can go a long way!
22. Death Never Gets Easier
While you learn to adapt, to cope, the act of death itself never gets easier. You’ll still feel things. I lost a lot of people this past year and this is something I can confirm. At least for me.
23. Invest in Yourself
Take that course. Go back to school. Try that new activity out. Invest in yourself.
It doesn’t have to be a lot of money or any really. It can just be time you invested. Put yourself at the forefront and focus on what you need to be the best you. Do what you need to have the best future you can think of!
24. You Matter To Someone
I know sometimes it doesn’t feel like it, trust me. I know. Just remember that even when you can’t see it or feel it, there is love being thrown your way. Still not convinced? Send me a message. I’ll tell you all of the reasons why you matter to me, even if I don’t know you personally.