“Others can stop you temporarily, you are the only one who can do it permanently”
-Zig Ziglar
This chapter really resonated with me. In fact there was one quote in particular that struck me the most.
“If you go around saying you’ll I’ve got a miserable life, you’ll get a miserable life. If you go around saying I’ve got a wonderful life, I’ll show you a wonderful life”.
Its impossible to be positive all the time, I mean lets be honest, crappy things happen. With that said though, hope can go a long way. By remaining hopeful, you’re allowing yourself to find new door and windows to good things happening.
The chapter also gently reminds you to not bring others down with you. If you’re in a negative mindset, don’t push it on others. Its one thing to share your thoughts, its another to tell people they should be feeling the same way just because you are.
This chapter bring forth five different exercises. While some of them are activities I’ve tried, others were new to me. I loved the way these were set up and I’m purposely listing them in the same order as the chapter. I find the way it flows just motivates me and has me wanting to do them all!
The Exercises
Exercise One: Gratitude List
A gratitude list is a list that someone makes of all the things they’re thankful for. Simple right? It sure is. Yet there are tons of benefits to this activity.
Some things you can put on your list are:
- What makes you happy
- What brings you pleasure?
- What are you thankful for?
- Favourite moment in the day
- A memory that brought you happiness
- Something that can cheer you up when you’re down
- People in your life that bring you positivity
- Qualities about yourself that you like
Here’s an example of my gratitude list:
- The kisses my puppy gives me every morning
- The sun shining down on me
- I’m fortunate enough to go to school for my masters degree
- The colour yellow
- My freshly organized desk
- The smell of my vanilla candle filling my room
The book recommends you make a list of 20 things and post them somewhere you can see. This will help stimulate gratitude and boost positivity levels!
Exercise Two: Affirmations
Affirmations are quotes or lines that you can say to yourself or repeat to yourself. These quotes should promote positivity, provide strength or provide encouragement.
Some affirmations the book suggests are:
- I am feeling alive and energized today
- I am grateful for my body
- I look forward to a productive day at work
some affirmations I have developed for myself include:
- I am a good Recreational Therapist
- I am capable
- I can do anything I set my mind to
- I matter
- I am beautiful
- Today is going to be a good day because I am going to make it a good day
Affirmations can be hung in your room, in your car, written on your mirror. They can be put on sticky notes and spread throughout your house. They can be said when you first wake up, they can be repeated on your way to work, said in the shower or after a difficult moment in your life. They can be said or done whenever or wherever you are!
The beautiful thing about affirmations is just how individual they can be! This is an exercise I’ve personally been doing for years and I find it makes such a difference in my attitude.
Exercise Three: Learn from a Master
Learn from a master is all about taking the advice of others, learning from those who have already lived. Kind of like the “don’t reinvent the wheel” or “listen to your elders” sayings that are always going around. The book references this exercises to midwives, while you’re living the moment they are there to help guide you through it.
The book suggests looking at people like:
- Helen Keller
- Anne Frank
- Mother Teresa
- Buddha
- Dalai Lama
- Emily Dickinson
- William Blake
The idea is to listen to their words and ideas, gaining inspiration from them. You can hang their words on your walls, fill a notebook with quote that bring you inspiration, highlight your books for future reference or make it the wallpaper of your phone/computer.
For me personally, some of the people I look to for advice include:
- My role models
- My resident’s (I even have quotes from some of them hanging on my walls)
- My mom
- My co-workers
You don’t always have to jump to celebrities or famous individuals. There are tons of inspiring people all around us!
Exercise Four: The Greatest Teacher
Who is your greatest teacher?
It can be a person, a place or maybe even a thing. For the author, he highlights that death is his greatest teacher. He lives his life knowing that his time, just like everyone else’s is limited. Its important he use his time wisely and that is what guides him, that it what helps him adjust and pick his attitude.
This is a personal one, one only you can determine for yourself. While the book doesn’t say it, know that your greatest teacher can also change over time. As we grow and develop, those that teach us will not always be the same.
For me personally, my grandma has been my greatest inspiration and teacher. She has taught me more than anyone I have ever met. She guides my life, my career and even parts of my future. I will admit though, death does play a component in all of this. She’s my greatest inspiration and my reminder to live my best possible life.
Exercise Five: Admire Your Baby Picture
I’ll admit, when I first read this one I was like “I’m sorry, pardon?”. The more I read though, the more it makes sense… so stick with me.
The exercise goes like this – look at a photo of you as a baby and a photo of you now. Notice how each one makes you feel, the emotions you have tied to each. The reality is, the majority of your positive emotions are tied to the photo of you as a bay and the negative are tied to the recent one. It’s kinda sad, isn’t it? How predictable we are when it comes to how we treat our present selves sometimes.
Fear, anger, disgust… they’re all learned feelings. They’re ones we develop as we age. By doing this exercise we can realize how carefree we used to be, how simple life was. We can help adjust our minds and attitudes to more positive place. This isn’t about shaming ourselves, its about correcting ourselves gently. It’s about reminding ourselves we are amazing and that all of these negative feelings are learned but they can also be unlearned.
The part I found the most interesting though, was how you can take this exercise a step further. The next time someone makes you feel bad, show them your baby photo. Look at how their emotions change as they look at you when you were young. It can be a great reminder for both them and for you that you deserve better. How the same person, just at different periods of their life, can be treated so differently.
To give this one a go, I now have a photo of “Baby Ashley” hanging above my desk. I won’t lie, it instantly helps to adjust my mood. I just feel better. What a difference it can make!